From My Perspective 

by Mauri

 

 

 

Powerful Public Figures Are Beating the Drums to Breakup the Family

Rich Warren and Charlie Rangel have a vision for America as a nation that loves the Church and State above home and children.  With both parents already working to put food on the table, the nail in the coffin of the American family is being hammered home in the church, the media and the halls of Congress.  Rick Warren wants Christians to drop their own lives to start churches world wide, spreading his message of loyalty to a higher power, church leaders.  January 10, 2007 Charlie Rangel introduced a bill in the House of Representatives, H. R. 393, that would draft men and women between the ages of 18-42, some going to the military and some to public service.  If enacted this would include the entire child bearing population in this country.  What would happen to the children while their parents serve?  Who would love and protect them, provide shelter from the cold, fill their empty bellies, help with homework, take them to community activities?  Are the concentration camps popping up all over the country intended to house these orphans Charlie’s Bill would create?  Is the stealing of our children the real agenda behind all the platitudes?  Would these communities of children become a pedophile’s paradise?  And if they did, who could the children tell, the camp commandant?     What is the education that Rich Warren wants to dictate?  Certainly concentration camps full of homeless children would provide Rick with lots of poor and sick and a great opportunity for re-education.

           Rick Warren’s Global Peace Plan:

           P = Plant Churches

           E = Equip Leaders

           A = Assist Poor

           C = Care for Sick

           E = Educate Next Generation

 Will the Global Peace Plan lead to an explosion of the poor and sick, just as the war on drugs led to an explosion of drugs?  This plan of exploitation could never lead to peace for the simple reason that it creates a pyramid of power, which leads to abuse.  The more the populace is poor and sick the greater the power of the Church and it's leaders.  What role does the family play in the plan?  Who raises your children, if you dedicate your life to the Church,?  Who puts bread on your table?  If your children are not well cared for, who listens to them?  Could the education of the next generation include a “no tell” rule, such as not reporting pedophilia or abuse.  What is the timetable for total corruption when a global One World Religion governs all belief?  Such a plan denies free will and self-determination, rights given by God.

          C = Control - absolute

          U = Universal - no where to hide  

          L = Leader - infallible

          T = Thought - dogma

 To me the family should be goal one of a purpose driven life, closely followed by the community in which one lives.  The lessons of history clearly show that empire building quickly destroys indigenous populations.  Will Charlie’s draft of an army to take over foreign lands be followed by Rick’s PEACE and the forcing of his culture on the inhabitants that remain.  Both these very visible public figures have ideas that closely resemble a New World Order.

If these plans come to fruition the American worker will be little missed.  With food production and manufacturing moved to other countries, what is left of the service industry could continue under the labor of the old and the incarcerated.  Yes it is all starting to come together, the puzzle pieces forming a dismal picture of America's destruction.        

 

History Matters - Read all that is available on the Free Press that is the Internet

(Press on Photo to link to source.)

 

            Every night when I go to bed, I give thanks to God that I am not one of them.

Without exception every face in those photos makes me feel fear; every costume or uniform has shades of evil.  

 

By a common bond, these are my friends.

 

When you meet your maker, who would you rather be?  

 

"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

Ye shall Know them by their fruits.  Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?"

Matthew 7: 15-16

 

American Martyrs Catholic Church

I have always felt very uncomfortable about the Catholic Church.  Those feelings go back deep into my childhood to my first encounter with the Church.  My parents were atheists and did not take me to any church, but this was not true when I lived with Mrs. Hildebrand and her Nazi friends.  Manhattan Beach was full of Churches.  Together we went through many of their doors. The little ugly churches did ugly things inside.  I was glad at least my parents were atheists.  But one church was different. I remember approaching its front entrance, with Mrs. Hildebrand yanking me forward like my mother would often do, Mrs. Hildebrand’s confident demeanor suddenly turning dark in fear.  She would impress upon me that I must do everything just right, and that my head must be covered just so when we went inside.  Such a fearsome place, I was sure we were about to meet the devil.  I remember standing and listening to the conversation between Mrs. Hildebrand and the man dressed all in black, as though I did not exist.  Mrs. Hildebrand argued for my soul and the man in black declared me no better than a Jew.  I was to burn in hell was his decision.

On the sand dunes of Manhattan Beach sits a church with a very interesting history.  It is called American Martyrs Church, dedicated to eight “American Martyrs”, eight Jesuits who were killed between 1642 and 1649 while trying to Christianize Indians in southeastern Canada.  They were canonized by Pope Pius XI in 1930.  Immediately plans for a church in their honor was executed.  The community chosen soon had a large population of Mafia and Nazis (from the Catholic Church Ratline and Project Paperclip.)  This is also the church (original structure) of my memory.

Taken from the Easy Reader, a local newspaper, “The McMartin Preschool case: What really happened?, Part VI,” is the following quote.

 “When Gits approached the podium he showed the girl a class photo taken during her last year at American Martyrs Catholic Elementary School and asked her to identify the children she believed had been molested at the preschool.  She pointed to half a dozen former classmates, three of whom were complaining witnesses in the case.  All of the complaining witnesses who testified attended American Martyrs.”

 Was American Martyrs recommending the McMartin Preschool to its flock?  One must assume.  And when the activities at the preschool became exposed, did American Martyrs quickly support the victims in an effort to distance themselves from the perpetrators?  It seems unlikely to me that American Martyrs could so quickly change its colors from the time I had experienced their views.

Mauri  (6/12/06)

Vatican Ratline

As a child I saw many faces attached to the terror that surrounded me.  I knew few names, but photos, of those faces, hold memories.  When I went over the photos of World War II Nazi Joseph Mengele it shook loose fear and began a week long obsession about the space between his front teeth that I knew was there, but hidden by the camera’s angle or the lack of a smile.  I remembered when looking at the photo of Adolf Eichmann that he spoke English.  He came to Manhattan Beach about the same time as Mengele, around 1951.  He appeared to me to be suffering from shell shock and therefore seemed less enthusiastic than the rest.  Perhaps this is why he was chosen to be the Nazi who would stand trial in Israel for war crimes, when the New World Order wanted to call world attention to Israel and the Holocaust.  History records Eichmann as one of the Nazi rats of the Vatican ratline.  At the end of the war he was captured by the US Army, then escaped and hid in Germany a few years. In 1950 he went to Italy and with the powerful connections of archbishop Alois Hudal, he obtained an International Committee of the Red Cross humanitarian passport and an Argentinian visa, then made his escape to Argentina.  The photo of Heinrich Mueller sent me fleeing the room on the verge of tears, images of black boots going through my mind.  I believe he was the one that killed the little boy while the Nazis were terrorizing little girls in a room, setting the stage to turn them into obedient slaves.  Martin Bormann’s photo also stirred up the past.  Bormann, like Mengele, Eichmann and Mueller, was reported to have escaped to South America.  There is abundant evidence that Bormann was whisked to safety in the arms of the Vatican ratline. In my long ago image of Bormann, he was dressed all in black like a Priest, but without the white collar.  Martin Bormann, the face of the man of power, who dispatched his will quietly, I believe he was a part of the Nazi UFO hoax. A good candidate for the young handsome Nazi, who accompanied the greys, would have been Bormann’s 17 year-old son, Adolf.  In my memories of the UFO hoax, Martin was there, looking on with fatherly pride at his very handsome son. These Nazis spoke German and came soon after the war’s end around 1946.  Martin likely came to California by U-boat from his headquarters in South America, and Adolf was headed to become a Jesuit Priest in the Church.  American Martyrs Catholic Church and Mrs. Hildebrand in Manhattan Beach, California were just one leg of the journey on the road to rule the world.  Mrs. Hildebrand, a few Catholic Priests and the Nazis all worked to spread Satanism into the Protestant Churches in the area.  Wait a few years and they move on to the pre-schools. In between they meet up with the CIA, the money machines in the government military industrial complex, the university system and they began to orchestrate the takeover of the once great America.

 

The Catholic Church, Rome and the Beast

"Here is Wisdom.  Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is six hundred threescore and six."

                                                   Revelation 13: 18

   

What does this mean?  Is the number the sum of a man's name?  Or is it a group such as Rome?  It isn't the name Rome, but could it be something about Rome such as its numerals?  DCLXVI are the series of Roman numerals backwards.  It is also a number.  The Arabic numerals for that number are 666.  What does this tell us?  If one wanted to express something about Rome in a secret way, one could use the symbol for Rome, its numbering system. DCLXVI or 666 is the number of Rome (man's number).  It is also, according to John, the number of the Beast. This makes a lot of historical sense.

 

 “And here is the mind which hath wisdom.  The seven heads are seven mountains, on which the woman sittith.”

                                                Revelation 17: 9

Clearly this is a reference to the Seven Hills of Rome.  Again Rome is accused of Great misdeeds.  Out of all the candidates only Rome is old enough and powerful enough to be the Biblical Beast.  And who is the Antichrist?  The one who puts himself above God as the ruler of men is the Antichrist.  The Pope makes an excellent candidate.

The 666 on the bar codes of everything we purchase represents technological advancement going out of control.  It represents everything that is Rome.  Rome brought us civilization, science, discovery and roads.  It brought us pestilence, famine and death. It is the four horsemen of the Apocalypse.  It is greed beyond man’s wildest dreams.  One bite from the apple and the Lesson of Good and Evil begins.  Rome is the teacher, the snake.  And the heartbeat of the Beast that is Rome can be heard coming from the Vatican.

A new age of Peace can only happen when we rid ourselves of the Evil war machine that is Rome.  Peace can only come when we all follow the words of God’s representatives of Good.

Mauri  (6/19/06)

 

 

What does bird flu have in common with space aliens?

1.  Both are carried in something that flies in the sky.

2.  The New World Order may use as an excuse for martial law.

3.  The potential lethal aspects of both are greatly exaggerated by the media.

4.  Both are a test of the public’s gullibility.

 Answer: All of the above

 

What is the UFO Alien Agenda?  

In my desire to get at the truth, I have sent my website address around and asked that researchers on the UFO subject take my testimony.  Surely I am as credible as many others who have had an up close and personal encounter.  But apparently to these researchers truth only comes from those that reinforce or agree with a pre-conceived notion of reality.  Opposition need not apply to be heard.  The following is the email from one such group that claims to be looking for the truth.  I think it speaks for itself.

Dear Mauri,

Thanks for contacting us. We are very aware of the deeper government agenda
of disguising people as aliens and even the potential of staging a fake
alien invasion. We know all about the holograms and deep mind control
agenda. The vast majority of people know nothing about all of this, which is
why we don't go into it. That said, we have lots of evidence that in
addition to all of this mind control and craziness, there is a true alien
presence as well. We welcome your thoughts. Have a great day!

With best wishes,
Fred Burks for the WantToKnow.info team
 

 

In the UFO Controversy, What Happened to Critical Thought?

Space aliens do not come alone, they arrive full of mystery and pseudo-science.  No alien or UFO story can really be believed unless it breaks one or two rules of physics. But who would really care about the little hairless creatures unless they had something we all want, like free energy, or the ability to travel through space faster than the speed of light, or to conquer gravity or travel through other dimensions or time.  And yes these aliens are reputed to do all of these things, and perhaps they would have to in order to get to Earth in just one lifetime.

 Let us take a look at the physics for these possibilities:

 E = mc2            rest energy of the particle

 KE = mv2         deBroglie wave kinetic energy of the particle

 KE = ˝ mv2     observed kinetic energy of the particle

These three equations tell us something about the physical world. The kinetic energy is ˝ its expected value judging by the deBroglie wave of the particle in motion (proven correct by experiment).  Therefore the particle must have lost some of its rest energy to account for the difference.  The observation that the particle loses rest energy when in motion, when in a warped (condensed) space of a gravitational field and when its electric or magnetic fields have been reduced by the interaction with external electric or magnetic fields, accounts for the gravitational and electric or magnetic force on the particle.  In other words, since the energy comes from the particle not the fields, there is no free energy.  And we can all relax; the universe does obey all its laws including the conservation of energy.  Oh, and the equations give us a clue about how fast we can travel through space.  The velocity cannot be greater than c, the speed of light, because if it was then  KE > mc2 and the particle would cease to exist.  Any kind of antigravity machine presents a problem also, unless you consider a rocket antigravity.  One simply can’t go around changing the warping of space.  Gravity converts rest energy into kinetic energy because c slows in a warped or condensed space.  I can’t imagine a machine that would alter that.  Electric fields increase or decrease the centripetal force of the particle, changing its rest energy.  Not to be deterred, some space aliens get to Earth by route of the fourth dimension (or the other side, you know, heaven). I might go along with this, except they will have to leave their spaceship and bodies on Zeti Reticuli, because as everyone knows, you simply can’t take it with you.  People have been trying to figure out how to take their worldly possessions with them when they departed this planet since the dawn of mankind.

As for a time machine or time travel, again the Universe must be taken into account.  We live in an expanding universe.  To go back in time would require contracting the entire universe back in time, or expanding it forward.  That would be some machine!! 

The rules of physics do not rule out the possibility of demons doing all of the above activities, including shape shifting.  I have never actually seen a demon, but I don’t know the laws that govern the other side, so I can’t rule that possibility out.  I know my favorite aliens are Kang and Kodos from The Simpsons.  They don’t look anything like some dressed up human being.

Mauri  (6/6/06)

A Rose is a Rose by Any Other Name

 Now that the pre-school sexual abuse controversy has died down and the False Memory advocates have begun to crawl back into the woodwork, a new theoretical gun from the New World Order arsenal has come into vogue.  A new problem, a new solution; the problem is the offending parent in a divorce being barred from his victim, the solution to remove the rights of the protecting parent. Children have no rights.  Parental Alienation Syndrome is the new False Memory Syndrome for the New Millennium; the protecting parent is now the brainwasher, replacing the protecting therapist of the past.  In both cases the child has no rights, except to smile and be cooperative at all times, and is not to be believed.  The creator of this syndrome is Richard A. Gardner, M.D.

 The following is taken from the website (www.rgardner.com/refs) about Richard A. Gardner, M.D.:   

 “In accordance with this use of the term I suggest this definition of the parental alienation syndrome:

The parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a childhood disorder that arises almost exclusively in the context of child-custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent’s indoctrinations and the child’s own contributions to the vilification of the target parent. When true parental abuse and/or neglect is present, the child’s animosity may be justified and so the parental alienation syndrome explanation for the child’s hostility is not applicable.

 In the PAS, the alienating parent programs into the child’s brain circuitry ideas and attitudes that are directly at variance with the child’s previous experiences. In addition, PAS children frequently add their own scenarios to the campaign of denigration, from the recognition that their complementary contributions are desired by the programmer. The child’s contributions are welcomed and reinforced by the programmer, resulting in even further contributions by the child. The result is an upwardly spiraling campaign of denigration. In mild cases the child is taught to disrespect, disagree with, and even act out antagonistically against the targeted parent. As the disorder progresses from mild to moderate to severe, this antagonism becomes converted and expanded into a campaign of denigration. The PAS diagnosis is based on the symptoms of the child, but the problem is clearly a family problem in that in each case there is one parent who is a programmer, another parent who is the alienated parent, and one or more children who exhibit the symptomatology. PAS children respond to the programming in such a way that it appears that they have become completely amnesic for any and all positive and loving experiences they may have had previously with the targeted parent.”

 A complex problem, a simplistic solution is the hallmark of Nazi science. I might interpret the above sudden change in the child’s response to the non-custodial parent by another syndrome, Stockholm Syndrome, where that “loving feeling” is no longer necessary for survival.  What is not mentioned is that children of divorce often get angry with both parents, so now a child may be diagnosed with PAS because of his normal response to divorce?  Where did this Gardner fellow go to school?  I looked it up.  He graduated from Columbia College in 1952.  My MKUltra psychiatrist, James Simeon Jacobs graduated from the same school.  Both are psychiatrists.  Gardner also did psychoanalytical training parallel with military service.  Columbia, psychiatry and the military, plus he gives “expert” court testimony, this puts him in with the MKUltra psychiatrists and the False Memory group.  Taken from his article, "YOU'RE NOT A PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC--YOU ONLY HAVE MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER":

 “Such patients are not the victims of sexual abuse by their accused fathers. Rather, they are the victims of their therapists and the supporting network of people who profit from convincing these very sick people that they have MPD. Whatever the true prevalence of sex abuse (from common to widespread), there is no question that the parallel phenomenon of false sex-abuse accusations exists.”

 Oh, excuse me he is a part of the False Memory Group.  I thought I recognized the thinking process.  My guess is he might have another agenda besides the psychological health of children and science.  Social Control by any means possible is more likely what he was into.  Why protect the abusing pre-school and the abusing parent?  Because abused children grow up more vulnerable to the brainwashing and control of the dominant society, which the New World Order is working to become.  The family, which is there to protect the child, must be broken up at all costs.  That is where the courts and the Social Service system come in.  Yes they do sometimes have a nasty habit of placing vulnerable children in dangerous environments.  Just watch the nightly news.  

Mauri  (10/18/05)

 

The Intelligence Community and Abu Ghraib

      The “if it doesn’t leave a mark it isn’t torture” mentality of the spoke persons for our government regarding the activities of our Intelligence Community, has a ring of truth, if one redefines the word “torture” to mean any pain producing activity that leaves a mark.  Perhaps under this new and improved definition I was not tortured by my caretakers, eons ago, after all.  Whatever activities they did to control my body, my mind, my soul, no marks could be produced because I had to get up and go to school the next day.  So no physical evidence was left, no visible marks anywhere.  No marks, no torture.  No bamboo shoots under fingernails, no chains, no whips, except perhaps to body parts hidden by clothing.  We are after all a civilized society.  Electric shock, near drowning, sexual humiliation, psychological threats, terror producing ideas and activities, endless photos to be used as blackmail, these are the tools of a civilized society, according to the Bush administration, because they leave no marks.  Where did the intelligence community learn to use this arsenal of tools, and how did they know what outcome it might produce?  Intelligence gathering by interrogation is a science.  And interrogation by methods that leave no marks is a Nazi science.  Sexual humiliation is no sadistic game; it is an effective mind control tool, developed to a high art form by a community of Nazi scientists during and after World War II.  These Nazi doctors wrote themselves into the history books in red indelible ink. Joseph Mengele, among others however, was reported to have left marks.

I remember the Abu Ghraib of my childhood, the men in black boots and military attire, who spoke German.  They were the power!  Life was obey, no ands, ifs, no buts. Death was one angry word away, even though my home was America.  The Nazis were present in the United States before we entered World War II.  A Nazi doctor, at least he spoke with a thick German accent and was a doctor and was a practitioner of Satanism, attended my forced birth on the satanic high holiday of Walpurgis naught, or April 30, 1941. My future on Earth was determined as sex slave and all around lab rat to individuals wanting to inflict unbearable physical and mental anguish without leaving a mark!  I was either being brainwashed or used to brainwash somebody else.  I was to become a part of their glorious army of Zombies.  But you ask, at Abu Ghraib the military was interrogating the suspected terrorists for secrete information about secret activities to save American lives.  I personally doubt that is what was going on at Abu Ghraib.  Using very similar methods on me as a child, I was not being interrogated, I was being brainwashed, to obey, to spy, to report.  I suspect the Iraqis who were unfortunate enough to just be rounded up in the middle of the night, were also being brainwashed to obey, to spy and to report to the US Military.  They were certainly being blackmailed with endless degrading photos, the same thing almost every ritual abuse survivor complains about happening to them.  And thus an Iraqi army of Zombies was to be created.  When the abuses at Abu Ghraib were exposed, most of these very same "dangerous terrorists" suddenly became safe enough to be released back into the community and their families.

How did the Intelligence interrogators know the mind controlling effects of such seemingly unrelated activities as sexual abuse and humiliation?  What does forced masturbation in front of strangers and recorded by a camera have to do with interrogating someone?  And was it that the Iraqis are culturally different, as was suggested by the media, that made, what many viewed as innocuous behavior because it was neither physically painful nor did it leave a mark, torture?  These people in the media are fortunate indeed, because they obviously have never been sexually molested.  In truth the response to sexual humiliation is universal and crosses every cultural line.  The Intelligence interrogators are trained in their art; they know the calculated, scientific, statistical, expectation of an act of that interrogation, because they have studied the extensive work of their Nazi teachers, who in tern gained their knowledge on human behavior and how to create a Zombie from lab rats like me. Is the US government and especially the CIA riddled with secret society influence?  When the secrets of the secret societies end up being the very same secrets of the US military at Abu Ghraib, we get a chilling clue. 

Mauri  (2/27/05)

 

Lambs to Slaughter

 Why did Europe and America open its borders to a large immigrant population of Muslims?  If those in power are really so worldly and tolerant, so encouraging of diversity, why are those very same immigrants now under the threat of silent incarceration.  Could it possibly be that these men and women of justice, who run all our lives, are in need of a Scapegoat and so they opened the doors for one to walk in?  Could it be that the very few that now rule the world, want even more power?  Could it be that the global corporations will not be satisfied until they have all the money?  Why share, when you no longer have to?  The last generation of Nazis had the Jews.  Will this generation have the Muslims?  Plant a few bombs and then say the new guy on the block did it.  Plant more and divert attention away from what’s really going on, the robbing of the planet and all its inhabitants save the very few at the top.  If power corrupts, how could those very few not be corrupt?  And why did we let this happen, to put all the power in so very few hands?  Shame on us and will the price we pay for our laziness be to watch or be a part of another holocaust, this time of the Muslims?

Mauri  (7/9/05)

Democracy in Action

 What is the answer when a political party becomes corrupt and no longer represents the people they are suppose to serve?  Vote for the other party.  But what if the other party has become corrupt too.  Vote for a third party.   A vote for a fledgling third party never results in the desired outcome, an elected representative of the people.  What to do?  The answer is to take back the political parties in our two party system, both of which have come to represent only the power and greed of the few. But our politicians lie, so how do we know who will represent us.  We don't.  That is why we need to take a new approach to our ailing democracy.  We need to stop listening to what is promised and start looking at what was done.  We need to carefully analyze the voting records of those who would serve us and if we don't approve of that record, vote them OUT, by voting for the other side.  Party loyalty makes little sense when the party is not loyal to us. (Conservative and liberal are merely divisive terms that mean little. Personally I like to view myself as a kind and caring person concerned with the greater good.) One term in office is all any politician should get if he serves the few and not the many.  Turn off the television, don't listen to ads that lie and take every speech with a grain of salt.  Do look at that politician's past voting record.  Look at who's interest is in his heart.  A real Democracy means one citizen, one vote.  We need to make that vote count.  At the moment that vote might best be used to remove all the politicians whose record we don't like, sending a message that they are in office to serve us, and by their fruit they shall be known. 

 

New World Order and Autism

             The incidence of autism has been skyrocketing since the 1970s.  The increase is so great an environmental cause becomes likely.  The factor that has been pinpointed by many is the increase in vaccines for children and the even greater increase in the mercury in those vaccines.  The New World Order is the main force behind the push to excessively use vaccines and some might say poison the world’s population.  I have autism and the New World Order gave it to me, not through a vaccine, but through torture.  Like Schizophrenia, autism may be a collection of disorders with a number of causes.  Multiple Personality Disorder, now called DID, was once diagnosed as Paranoid Schizophrenia.

I remember myself as a small child watching them.  I observed every detail of what they did.  I read their emotions like a book.  It was just I, sitting there with no sense of self.  There was no me; just a consciousness that was watching the movie that surrounded me in panoramic vision, full Technicolor and surround sound.  I don’t know the exact words of what was being said.  Bla, bla, bla; the words didn’t matter much because they didn’t fit with the rest of what I was observing.  Bla, bla, bla, lies, lies, lies. My language skills were late in developing.  I never did learn to spell.  Some might question my writing skills, but after all if you don’t exist there is very little motivation to learn to communicate with words.  When the core personality takes over my body today, she has autism.  Her fear keeps her in a state of constant repetitive motion of arms and legs.  She walks with a slow shuffle, and at the slightest provocation will depart to a hidden place.  Words are not a large part of her persona and she speaks only if forced, and then getting right to the point.  As a child, I’m sure my parents were telling relatives there was something wrong with me; so everyone had a tendency to stay away, except for my two loved Grandmothers and an aunt my parents constantly spoke ill of.  With autism you may have no sense of self, but you do know what is going on around you.  Autism is not an issue of developing empathy for others.  Autism is not a condition of being self-centered.  In my case it was an extreme survival mode.  There was no time and it was not safe to develop a self.  I was left in a constant state of preparedness for fight or flight.  But I was too small to fight, so I hid and dissipated the energy into the constant motion of flipping my hands back and forth and crossing and uncrossing my legs.

            My first personality split was not docile, but carried my aggressive side.  She also was taught to do sex.  Oral sex on an adult is nauseating to a small child, so one must disappear somewhere removed from the act. I went into a trance state where my only motivation was survival.  How does one survive the sexual aggression of a stranger many times one size?  One attempts to immobilize the other person using just the right sexual stimulation.  I judged my success by how much I was in control; a totally docile sex partner was the goal.  This personality is autistic but moving toward more social interaction.

            I am the final split and now the dominant personality.  I have a functional autism called Asperger’s Syndrome.  I think I might be a classic case; read my science articles. Socializing, especially with strangers, is sometimes traumatic.  If confronted in a triggering way I stop having a two-way conversation and may begin to expound.  Or my mind might go blank and I start the process of leaving the body.  While these effects may make life difficult this cloud does have a silver lining.   I have no cult personalities and no cult programming.  Apparently it is difficult to program someone with autism as a “total mind controlled slave.”  Bla, bla, bla, ha, ha, ha.

Mauri  (11/6/05)

 

 

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